An amazing client of mine asked me if I’m ever uncomfortable being alone. The truth is, I used to loathe being alone. In the past, every September the school bus would pick my boys up from school and I would smile brightly, waving them off excitedly. Then I would go home and cry over my coffee for weeks. Once the crying stopped I would shuffle around, in a daze of sorts.
I was never quite sure why I was upset. Was it the uncertainty of my children's safety? Was it because they were growing up so fast? Was it my lack of self worth for not working a full time job in addition to being a mother? These are the thoughts I lived with most of September, until eventually, I got myself on a
routine. By October I would be pretty much back to normal.
Over the years, I weaved in and out of part time jobs and I made sure none interfered much with my duties as a mother. I also continued self development, reading, writing, growing and obtaining multiple health and wellness certifications. Eventually, Be A Better You Fitness was born and I even wrote and published a book. Yet, as productive as I was keeping myself, I still cried every September.
One night I remember sitting at the dinner table. I was eating alone. I don't remember where my boys were and my husband was probably at work, and I just thought, "I'm really on my own here". In that moment it occurred to me that I was crying in September because I realized there was more loneliness ahead. I got to be with my boys all summer. We have each other for 8 weeks, but when school starts, I am alone again.
Upon this realization I decided I was
going to learn to enjoy being alone. I was doing the work, but I wasn’t doing enough. I was thinking the good thoughts, but not allowing them to exist. When I changed my mindset, my entire September changed. Once I focused on other thoughts, events, experiences and outlets that brought me joy, I was able to find joy in being alone.
I started planning more clients, more work, meditations and workouts for my alone time. I changed my mindset on being alone, turning it from a negative experience to a fruitful one. I worked on this so much, that now I truly enjoy being alone. As with anything uncomfortable, sad, challenging or stressful, we must take the initiative to change our thoughts about it, or deter our focus from it, so we can live freely, happily and purposefully, how we are meant to.